


Hold me close and don't let go

by TheAverageOne11



Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [3]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, zalexweek2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAverageOne11/pseuds/TheAverageOne11
Summary: Zach and Alex are watching a movie at Alex's, when Alex falls asleep on Zach's chest.(Takes place in-between seasons 3 and 4)
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816006
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: Zalex Week 2k20





	Hold me close and don't let go

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go!! Day 2 baby! (I know, I'm a little late. Been a busy day)  
> This is for Zalex Week Day 2 - Sharing a Bed

It was Friday night and Alex had invited Zach over for some more 'Zach and Alex time', as the other boy liked to call it. They were just supposed to play some games together, but as soon as hit mother had seen that Zach came over she insisted that he stayed over for dinner. His parents really adored Zach. His mom says he's an angel for looking out for Alex the way he did, never failing to embarrass Alex in front of him. His dad and his brother loved talking about football with him, something they could never really do with Alex. In many ways, they considered him to be a part of the family. When they found out what happened to Zach's leg at homecoming, they were genuinely heartbroken. Nowadays, they generally try to avoid bringing it up.

In spite of all that, Alex wasn't really jealous of Zach. He was happy he got along with his dad and brother, even better than he did. Before his TBI, they were very distant with Alex, especially when he dyed his hair and got piercings, or so Alex thought anyway. Looking back at it, perhaps he was the distant one instead. His dad definitely didn't approve of his look back then, but never really looked at Alex any differently; his brother just told him to change it back before he starts getting bullied in school. After his TBI, they were extremely attentive to everything concerning Alex, to the point where it was annoying.

Alex turned to look at the boy beside him, who was too distracted watching Game of Thrones, and started wondering how they got to this point.

Zach surprised him. He was really the first friend he made out of the jocks - scratch that - the entire school, but they weren't really that close at the beginning. Zach was the first person to unironically compliment his hair, ever, and that sparked the casual friendship they had much of freshman year. After Hannah and the tapes, he was basically forced into Bryce's little gang. Alex wasn't an idiot, he knew they were just making sure he stayed silent. He was hoping Hannah had lied about what happened to her, but deep down he knew that she didn't, which made him hate Justin Foley and Bryce Walker that much more, which was weird because other than Zach, they were the nicest to him. Justin had even told Monty to fuck off once when Monty called him a faggot. Of course in Monty's mind, that was just proof that they were in fact secretly fucking, even though no one found that funny but Monty himself.

After his suicide attempt and his TBI, Zach was suddenly a big part of Alex's life. When he woke up from his coma, the first face was Zach's. He had felt so guilty for not responding to Alex's final text messages, but Alex didn't even remember sending them, nor why he sent them to Zach specifically. Afterwards he was pretty much everywhere. Dragging him out of bed, driving him to school, taking him to classes, driving him back, buying him snacks and even forcing him into P.T. when his own parents couldn't, even though the doctor practically demanded it. Alex was suspicious of Zach at first, though that quickly grew to disdain when he learned that he was still friends with Bryce and didn't dare hang out with Alex in front of them. Monty of course, had immediately taken notice of Zach's 'extracurricular activities' with Alex and from that point on, his and Scott's favorite hobbies were teasing them about it every opportunity they had. In retrospect, Scott was kind of an asshole, except to Clay for whatever reason.

But then Zach had stopped being a coward and showed him how big his heart actually is. Was that when Alex started feeling differently about him? Was it even earlier? Alex couldn't understand what those feelings he had when he was around the other boy were. The only thing he knew for sure, was when Bryce said he was going to destroy Zach, it triggered a side of Alex that he didn't even know he had.

He killed him. Holy shit he killed Bryce.

He still couldn't come to terms with what he actually did. Even saying it to himself it felt surreal, like he had achieved something he considered to be impossible. But Zach didn't care. No one cared. Were they supposed to? Was he just not supposed to care? Alex regrets it everyday, but then, sometimes he'd think about what led him to pushing Bryce off of those docks, and he'd realize that he'd do it all over again if it meant Zach was still alive.

Zach was still looking at the screen, not noticing Alex looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. They were laying on the bed, side by side, the laptop on Zach's lap, the volume only just loud enough to hear the character's lines. The blue light emitting from the laptop was reflecting on Zach's face. His gaze was completely focused on the show, his lips parted and his hair tidy and perfectly styled, except for a few strands of hair beginning to fall on his forehead, making him look even cuter. _Cuter..._ That's not a word Alex had ever used for the taller boy before... He wondered...

Alex was sleepy. Both of their heads were rested on a pillow, set upright for Zach, so the back of his head doesn't rest on the headboard. The brunet was practically on the same level as Zach's shoulders, and he wondered...

He gulped, now looking Zach's broad chest, still just out of the corner of his eyes so Zach doesn't notice. Alex got the urge to rest his head on Zach's chest. Normally, he would brush these thoughts aside, but now, he felt bold for some reason. Zach's head was high enough that he wouldn't block his view and he could already feel his body heat just from laying right next to him. He would fall asleep instantly. _What's the worst that could happen?_

He leaned down slowly, almost as if his head was falling by itself. He felt the tight but comfortable muscles of Zach's chest against the side of his head, and sound of a steady heartbeat. Alex didn't dare put his arms around the other boy, so he held them close to his own chest, relishing in the warmth from the other boy. He closed his eyes, feeling Zach's heartbeat pump slightly faster. He heard the brush of the pillow above him, which was undoubtedly Zach turning his head to look at him. He felt one of Zach's hands, leave the side of the laptop it was holding onto. He felt it going over his body, expecting Zach to push him off.

But he didn't.

For awhile, Zach didn't even touch him, his hand hovering over his body as if he would get burned if he made contact. Then, he felt Zach's hand coyly caressing his arm, unsure in it's movements. After awhile, he heard him closing the laptop while Daenerys was speaking in Valyrian. Zach put the laptop on the bedside table, as his hand moved up to Alex's hair, playing lightly.

Relaxing into the touch and taking in the sudden silence, Alex starting falling asleep. The last things he felt were Zach gently playing with his hair, his steady heartbeat, the smell of his cologne and the intoxicating body heat radiating from him.

Zach was so calm...

* * *

Zach was freaking out.

In all of their sleepovers together, they've never shared a bed. When he felt Alex's head suddenly resting on his chest, he didn't think much of it, and instinctively moved to wake Alex up, or maybe push him down on the pillow. But he stopped himself. Looking at the brunet below him, he looked so peaceful. He couldn't see his eyes, but he could make out the steady, relaxed breaths coming out of the other boy. His arms tucked tightly into his chest, as if shielding himself, only making him look cuter.

Zach stopped at that. _Cute.._. Was that what he thought of Alex? He kept looking at the other boy, his expression dazed. He felt so wholesome and warm and it was the best he felt in a very long time. Before he even registered his own movements, he started rubbing Alex's upper arm gently, as if lulling him to sleep. It then dawned on him that he wasn't even paying attention to the show anymore, so he closed the laptop with his other hand and put it aside. They sat there, cuddling in complete silence for a few heavenly minutes, with Zach gently stroking Alex's hair.

Zach recalled how much he liked it when it was blond, but he had never really appreciated how good it was even in it's natural color. Alex was beautiful... and - this felt wrong. Was it wrong for Zach to cuddle with Alex while he was sleeping? Zach realized that he might just be overthinking a little bit, but this was still the closest he's ever felt to another guy. Still... the plan was never for him to sleepover. He hasn't even told his mom that he would be staying over, not that she would care. He sighed, telling himself just another minute and he would try to leave without waking Alex up, not thinking about the fact that he doesn't actually want to leave his embrace.

He finally gathered the will power and started shifting gently, trying to sneak away without waking the other boy up. But it was not meant to be. Almost simultaneously, Alex's arms wrapped around Zach, tightly and he was muttering something, though Zach couldn't make it out. Things escalated however, because soon Alex started tossing and turning, the muttering turning to a repetitive "Let me go!"

He was having his nightmares again, yet, Alex didn't tell him. Why? Zach grabbed Alex by the shoulders and started shaking him gently.

"Alex wake up, it's just a dream. I'm right here." But Alex only took a few deep breathes, not opening his eyes yet. "Alex!" Zach repeated, shaking him with a little more force this time and Alex jolted awake with a gasp. Zach let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and plumped down on the bed again in relief.

"Zach? I - That was all a dream, right. You're real?" asked Alex, sitting on the bed, looking at him intensely. Zach looked at him then, his face going from relieved to concerned in a manner of seconds as he sat up next to Alex and putting his arms around him protectively, hugging him with so much force that Alex groaned on pain.

"Yeah, you're safe. It was just a nightmare." Zach said, squeezing him a little less so he doesn't hurt him. Alex melted into the touch, wrapping his arms desperately around him. That's when Zach heard the other boy sobbing in his chest. He let go, putting his hands firmly on Alex's shoulders, looking directly into Alex's watery eyes.

"Hey... What's wrong?" asked Zach, cupping both of Alex's cheeks and brushing the tears away with his thumb. Alex looked back, really looked back, his ocean eyes desperately scanning Zach's. "What did you dream about? Talk to me." Zach pleaded, dropping his hands on the boy's shoulder blades once more. Zach hadn't even realized how affectionate he was being.

"It was Bryce... Monty held you down while Bryce started punching you, using one of his feet to crush your broken leg." Zach's breath stopped. He should have known... "I told him to stop, but then he turned to me. I-I tried to fight him but...b-but he just broke my leg and I fell down on the dock. A-And then he just pulled me up by my armpits and started dragging me to the - to the water a-and I just-"

"Shh... It's okay.. You're safe. We're both safe. They can't hurt you, they're dead." Zach interrupted him with a hug, not wanting to picture anything of what Alex just described.

"I-I killed him. I'm an awful person..." Alex admitted, sobbing. Zach's heart sank. The things Alex had to deal with by himself, it wasn't fair.

"No, I killed him. None of that would have happened if I wasn't so - so stupid. I'm so sorry Alex." He said as he rubbed circles on Alex's back.

"H-He destroyed your future Zach. He hurt everyone you loved. He deserved everything you did to him. But I-, He didn't deserve to die..." Zach let go of him and eyed Alex carefully. He's had all this baggage with him for such a long time. Without saying anything else, Zach eased himself into the bed again, patting the empty space next to him in an invitation for Alex to join him. He did.

Alex plumped down to lay on his back, but Zach grinned and pulled him over on his side. His right arm was under Alex's head, so it doesn't get in the way, but the left arm he protectively curled around Alex. He didn't think too much into what he was doing anymore, his only priority being comforting the other boy. He smiled when he felt Alex intertwine their fingers with his left hand and grab onto his right hand with his own.

"You did what you had to do. It will continue to haunt you for a long time because you are a good person and you don't want to hurt anyone." Zach said, pressing a kiss to the back of the other boy's neck. That was definitely crossing a boundary for them, yet neither seemed to notice nor care. Alex felt so small in Zach's arms, yet like he belonged there.

"Oh and Alex?" Zach whispered again after a long pause, not sure if Alex was even still asleep. "I'd do the same for you." He admitted, before finally closing his eyes to drift into sleep himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Any comments are greatly appreciated :)  
> Oh, and here's a beautifullll fanart to go along with the ending of this fic :)  
> https://entropicartist.tumblr.com/post/622979307033198592/leave-him-alone-alex-hes-nervous-zalex-week


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